As promised, I’m going to share my favorite way for a salesperson to lose the potential sale in one quick stroke. Bonus material: if you make it to the end of the blog, I’ll share my second and third favorites as well. Not surprisingly, the Internet makes losing a sale even easier and more efficient than losing one in person. Computers are great that way.*
I do like connecting with people on LinkedIn. While I enjoy Facebook**, and Facebook has been great for re-discovering my old high school and college friends, it’s sometimes nice to hear people’s thoughts on organizational leadership and database methodology versus “U wont believe what my cat puked up.” ***
Here’s what I don’t like on LInkedIn:
Person: Hello Jeff! I see we were at Texas A&M around the same time! I’ve been working in business intelligence too! Connect?
Me: Why, certainly!. I’m always interested in being casual internet acquaintances with a fellow Aggie genius. ****
Person: Thanks for the connection! BTW, I’m working now for XYZ Telecom, and we’ve got some great introductory packages on—
And just like that, our blossoming friendship is cut short by the “Block” button. And since I also manage the IT department, there’s a good chance we’re blocking you’re company’s domain entirely.
Seriously this is a garbage way to make an entrance. If you use deception to get the conversation started, why would I believe anything you have to say about the actual services you offer? At this point I doubt that you even went to A&M. Although to be fair, probably nobody claims to be an Aggie who isn’t actually an Aggie.
The original caption said, “Unethical used car salesman in the UK.” I’m not sure why they called out the UK, but I did find that kind of funny.
Second fastest: poke fun at my previous work. Admittedly, whether we’re talking about my professional work or my hobbies, there’s a lot to laugh at. A few years ago a representative from a home renovation company dropped by to try to sell me all sorts of improvements, including an exterior door with a Bluetooth doggie gate and all sorts of bells and whistles. He found the weather stripping job I’d done quite funny and mentioned it’s obvious why we needed outside expertise. Hah! You got me! We can chuckle over this one all the way to the exit door.
And to round things out: refer to yourself as my account manager before I’ve purchased anything from you. Sure, it’s not the most grievous offense — it’s not like you’re a Philadelphia Eagles fan or something. Still, it IS presumptuous, and while confidence is a great characteristic for a salesperson, presumption is not. Next you’re going to assume that since I upsized my fries, I’m just a sucker for the large drink as well…
Tune in next time when I explain how you can actually get your foot in the door without having your leg broken.
* According to Homer Simpson, they even have the Internet on computers now.
** After all, MySpace is no longer a thing.
*** Also, I’ve never read a LinkedIn article and thought, “I need to forget I ever met this person.” Facebook, well…let’s just say Facebook is a bit more revealing.
**** The business intelligence manager world is mostly geniuses. At least, that’s what my data says.